Thursday, December 1, 2011
Where do we go from here?
I started my first Clomid cycle a few weeks ago. I have some mixed emotions about it. One the one hand, I know I need "tweaking" so it is perfectly acceptable to start treatment. However, part of me feels like I am taking control out of God's hands into my own. Part of me is excited about this next step but my heart hurts that I couldn't do it on my own. It took us 1 year to conceive Caleb but for some reason, I thought this time would be different. I am trying to stay realistic this cycle. I am afraid to get my hopes up and then have my heart stattered days later. I am trying to take it one step at a time. I go in for bloodwork tomorrow to confirm that I ovulated. That is step number 1.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Next step!
I am now making this blog into a TTC (trying to conceive) blog. So be aware! If you don't want to read about cervical mucous, OPKs and things of that nature then stop now! You have been warned!
We are now in our 3rd month of trying to conceive baby #2. Michael and I have decided that now is the time for the "full court press" (charting and OPKs). If you are interested in following my chart you can either click here:My Ovulation Chart or you can click on my ticker at the top of the page. I am very excited to start this next step. I charted while trying to get pregnant with Caleb and I liked knowing my body and my ovulation cycle. I bought the 20 pack of the "First response" ovulation kits. I never had luck with OPKs before but it was probably because I didn't ovulate until day 28 on some cycles. I hope this time will not be as frustrating as before. I know that I am not as stressed this time around. I know it can take a while and I am not holding hope each cycle. I might be changing my tune in 6 months but for now, I am trying to take it in stride.
Caleb is doing so much better sleeping. We can put him down awake now and he will fall asleep on his own He still like to lay with me during the day when it is time for a nap but I am fine with that.
We are now in our 3rd month of trying to conceive baby #2. Michael and I have decided that now is the time for the "full court press" (charting and OPKs). If you are interested in following my chart you can either click here:My Ovulation Chart or you can click on my ticker at the top of the page. I am very excited to start this next step. I charted while trying to get pregnant with Caleb and I liked knowing my body and my ovulation cycle. I bought the 20 pack of the "First response" ovulation kits. I never had luck with OPKs before but it was probably because I didn't ovulate until day 28 on some cycles. I hope this time will not be as frustrating as before. I know that I am not as stressed this time around. I know it can take a while and I am not holding hope each cycle. I might be changing my tune in 6 months but for now, I am trying to take it in stride.
Caleb is doing so much better sleeping. We can put him down awake now and he will fall asleep on his own He still like to lay with me during the day when it is time for a nap but I am fine with that.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Two years ago..
Two years ago yesterday is the day I found out I was pregnant with Caleb. It doesn't seem that long ago. After a year of trying, I am now blessed with an amazing 16 month old. It's amazing!
Michael and I are now trying for baby #2. I am excited but I am also afraid of the process. I am trying to be realistic and preparing myself for a long journey. I remember the feeling of failure each month we didn't conceive and I don't want to go through that again. I am going to try and take it in stride and hope to be surprised :)
Michael and I are now trying for baby #2. I am excited but I am also afraid of the process. I am trying to be realistic and preparing myself for a long journey. I remember the feeling of failure each month we didn't conceive and I don't want to go through that again. I am going to try and take it in stride and hope to be surprised :)
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
I can't sleep
I have a lot on my mind right now. Today has been a pretty rough day. I was thinking about my ex-best friend today. I miss her right now and I feel like I failed her. We left things on horrible terms and we haven't spoke in about 5 years. I don't know what I did to hurt her so badly but it was enough for her to not come to my wedding and not speak to me. Well, we did speak once about 3 years ago and she said that she wasn't "that mad" anymore but she never called me back to work it out. I felt at peace then. I don't know why I am thinking about her now after all of these years. I realize now that I have never had a good friend since then. I have had acquaintances and friends but not the kind that I call just to chat or when something is bothering me. I know that I am putting up walls because I don't want to get hurt. I have been feeling so alone lately. I am surrounded by a group of wonderful ladies but I can't seem to open up. I feel like when I try to talk, I am trying to hard and it shows. I can't seem to be myself around anyone. I wish I could just open up and be myself and show everyone who I am, but I am so afraid to get hurt.
Sorry for the depressing post. I needed to vent to see if it would help me get some peace.
Sorry for the depressing post. I needed to vent to see if it would help me get some peace.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Near and Far
Let me start out by introducing my sister's blog. She is currently on a 7 week mission trip to Malawi, Africa. Please pray for her on this amazing journey. http://whatwillafricado.blogspot.com/
I started exercising again. I stepped on the scale the other day and I was shocked. I felt very disappointed in myself but that was short lived. This is just the beginning of something new. I have no set goal but I would love to be 155 by the end of the summer. I know I can do this!!
Caleb has made a habit of waking up at 2:30 in the morning throwing a fit. He throws everything out of the crib and he gets MORE upset because his crib is empty. I try my hardest to ignore this but when he is screaming for about 90 minutes, I can't take the screaming anymore. Ugh. He was doing so well. Oh well, just a phase (that is what I keep telling myself).
Michael and I are doing great. We are planning on trying for another little one next month! It's exciting to think of this next stage in our lives. We are prepared for a long, but exciting, journey ahead of us.
I started exercising again. I stepped on the scale the other day and I was shocked. I felt very disappointed in myself but that was short lived. This is just the beginning of something new. I have no set goal but I would love to be 155 by the end of the summer. I know I can do this!!
Caleb has made a habit of waking up at 2:30 in the morning throwing a fit. He throws everything out of the crib and he gets MORE upset because his crib is empty. I try my hardest to ignore this but when he is screaming for about 90 minutes, I can't take the screaming anymore. Ugh. He was doing so well. Oh well, just a phase (that is what I keep telling myself).
Michael and I are doing great. We are planning on trying for another little one next month! It's exciting to think of this next stage in our lives. We are prepared for a long, but exciting, journey ahead of us.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Praise God!
We finally got confirmation today that Michael will continue to have a job! There was a little while where he was going to be laid off on May 31st but now the weight has been lifted off our shoulders. We are very blessed because he is getting a pay increase and we will be paying less in health insurance also. I am very ready to start paying off our debt. Hopefully, we can get the credit cards paid off by the end of the year.
Caleb is starting to regress back to his old routine. It started last Wednesday when he got sick and he has been getting up at 4:30 since then. At first, I thought his stomach was still bothering him so I gave him some slack. We are now feeling better so hopefully he will sleep better. It is now 5:50 and he is still asleep so I am happy about that.
I have given up on my 4:15am work-outs (shocked anyone?). That is way to early for me to get up. I plan on getting a gym membership so Michael and I can go together. I have lost 3 lbs since doing this Biggest Loser.
Have a great day everyone! God bless.
Caleb is starting to regress back to his old routine. It started last Wednesday when he got sick and he has been getting up at 4:30 since then. At first, I thought his stomach was still bothering him so I gave him some slack. We are now feeling better so hopefully he will sleep better. It is now 5:50 and he is still asleep so I am happy about that.
I have given up on my 4:15am work-outs (shocked anyone?). That is way to early for me to get up. I plan on getting a gym membership so Michael and I can go together. I have lost 3 lbs since doing this Biggest Loser.
Have a great day everyone! God bless.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
This is the stuff..
This song perfectly describes my day yesterday:
"This Is The Stuff" By Francesca Battistelli
I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'Cuz I can't find my phone
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
45 in a 35
Sirens and fines while I'm running behind
Whoa
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world
Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
Oh Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff You use
Caleb is doing so well sleeping! I think I have a theory to why he wakes up early. Michael and I get up early to get ready for work. I think that Caleb hears the TV in the morning and he knows we are up. SO, in the morning, we make sure his door is closed and we have the TV volume on low. It seems to have worked so far.
I think it is time for his first haircut. I had a lady or two tell me how beautiful my daughter is. I have no idea what these ladies see because he was wearing his Nike basketball outfit. I am going to procrastinate this process as long as I can. I know that the day is coming.
He is climbing over everything! We had his pack-in-play still in it's bag and we found him perched on top of it. I am thinking about getting him a chair of his own.
I gained 2 lbs this week. I expected as much. I did not stick to my diet at all over the weekend and was not able to exercise. I know this week will be better, or I hope so.
"This Is The Stuff" By Francesca Battistelli
I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'Cuz I can't find my phone
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
45 in a 35
Sirens and fines while I'm running behind
Whoa
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world
Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
Oh Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff You use
Caleb is doing so well sleeping! I think I have a theory to why he wakes up early. Michael and I get up early to get ready for work. I think that Caleb hears the TV in the morning and he knows we are up. SO, in the morning, we make sure his door is closed and we have the TV volume on low. It seems to have worked so far.
I think it is time for his first haircut. I had a lady or two tell me how beautiful my daughter is. I have no idea what these ladies see because he was wearing his Nike basketball outfit. I am going to procrastinate this process as long as I can. I know that the day is coming.
He is climbing over everything! We had his pack-in-play still in it's bag and we found him perched on top of it. I am thinking about getting him a chair of his own.
I gained 2 lbs this week. I expected as much. I did not stick to my diet at all over the weekend and was not able to exercise. I know this week will be better, or I hope so.
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