16 weeks!!

How far along? 16 weeks 1 day

Total weight gain/loss? I have gained about 2-3 lbs.

Maternity clothes? Maternity pants are a must but I can still wear my regular shirts.

Stretch marks? Nothing new.

Sleep? Not much! I have to take Tylenol PM to get a decent night sleep. It is getting uncomfortable to sleep on my belly which is a bummer since I am an avid tummy sleeper.

Best moment last week? Hearing the hearbeat at my doctor appointment.

Movement? I have not felt anything that I could say for sure was the baby. I felt Caleb move at 18 weeks so I know soon I will be feeling this one.

Food cravings? Not really. I am lucky if I even feel hungry.
Gender? Boy or girl!

Labor signs? No way!

What I miss: Being able to eat a full meal without feeling sick afterwards.

What I am looking forward to: I have my big ultrasound on March 30th!

Milestones: I took my first pregnancy photo today!

I'm Pregnant!

The first round of Clomid worked! We are expecting our newest addition on August 18th! I am thrilled! On December 6th (9dpo), i was going to see a doctor regarding my high fevers and sore throat. I knew it was probably strep throat and I was going to be put on antibiotics. I decided to test that day because some medications are not safe to take while pregnant. I thought it would be negative because I was not expecting my period for another 3-4 days. I shocked to see a very faint line! I went into work for a rapid strep test and a blood test to confirm the pregnancy. The blood test came back positive (as did the strep test)! I took another test on the 9th (the day my period was supposed to start) and it was definetly positive.

We had an ultrasoubd on 12/22 (5w5d) and they saw a little fetal pole but it was too early to see a heartbeat. I went back on 1/5/2012 (7w5d)for another u/s and we saw our baby with a heartbeat! The heartbeat was 156!

I am 8 weeks along today. Now I have to decide whether we will find out the gender at 20 weeks or wait until delivery.

Where do we go from here?

I started my first Clomid cycle a few weeks ago. I have some mixed emotions about it. One the one hand, I know I need "tweaking" so it is perfectly acceptable to start treatment. However, part of me feels like I am taking control out of God's hands into my own. Part of me is excited about this next step but my heart hurts that I couldn't do it on my own. It took us 1 year to conceive Caleb but for some reason, I thought this time would be different. I am trying to stay realistic this cycle. I am afraid to get my hopes up and then have my heart stattered days later. I am trying to take it one step at a time. I go in for bloodwork tomorrow to confirm that I ovulated. That is step number 1.

Next step!

I am now making this blog into a TTC (trying to conceive) blog. So be aware! If you don't want to read about cervical mucous, OPKs and things of that nature then stop now! You have been warned!

We are now in our 3rd month of trying to conceive baby #2. Michael and I have decided that now is the time for the "full court press" (charting and OPKs). If you are interested in following my chart you can either click here:My Ovulation Chart or you can click on my ticker at the top of the page. I am very excited to start this next step. I charted while trying to get pregnant with Caleb and I liked knowing my body and my ovulation cycle. I bought the 20 pack of the "First response" ovulation kits. I never had luck with OPKs before but it was probably because I didn't ovulate until day 28 on some cycles. I hope this time will not be as frustrating as before. I know that I am not as stressed this time around. I know it can take a while and I am not holding hope each cycle. I might be changing my tune in 6 months but for now, I am trying to take it in stride.

Caleb is doing so much better sleeping. We can put him down awake now and he will fall asleep on his own He still like to lay with me during the day when it is time for a nap but I am fine with that.

Two years ago..

Two years ago yesterday is the day I found out I was pregnant with Caleb. It doesn't seem that long ago. After a year of trying, I am now blessed with an amazing 16 month old. It's amazing!

Michael and I are now trying for baby #2. I am excited but I am also afraid of the process. I am trying to be realistic and preparing myself for a long journey. I remember the feeling of failure each month we didn't conceive and I don't want to go through that again. I am going to try and take it in stride and hope to be surprised :)

I can't sleep

I have a lot on my mind right now. Today has been a pretty rough day. I was thinking about my ex-best friend today. I miss her right now and I feel like I failed her. We left things on horrible terms and we haven't spoke in about 5 years. I don't know what I did to hurt her so badly but it was enough for her to not come to my wedding and not speak to me. Well, we did speak once about 3 years ago and she said that she wasn't "that mad" anymore but she never called me back to work it out. I felt at peace then. I don't know why I am thinking about her now after all of these years. I realize now that I have never had a good friend since then. I have had acquaintances and friends but not the kind that I call just to chat or when something is bothering me. I know that I am putting up walls because I don't want to get hurt. I have been feeling so alone lately. I am surrounded by a group of wonderful ladies but I can't seem to open up. I feel like when I try to talk, I am trying to hard and it shows. I can't seem to be myself around anyone. I wish I could just open up and be myself and show everyone who I am, but I am so afraid to get hurt.

Sorry for the depressing post. I needed to vent to see if it would help me get some peace.

Near and Far

Let me start out by introducing my sister's blog. She is currently on a 7 week mission trip to Malawi, Africa. Please pray for her on this amazing journey. http://whatwillafricado.blogspot.com/

I started exercising again. I stepped on the scale the other day and I was shocked. I felt very disappointed in myself but that was short lived. This is just the beginning of something new. I have no set goal but I would love to be 155 by the end of the summer. I know I can do this!!

Caleb has made a habit of waking up at 2:30 in the morning throwing a fit. He throws everything out of the crib and he gets MORE upset because his crib is empty. I try my hardest to ignore this but when he is screaming for about 90 minutes, I can't take the screaming anymore. Ugh. He was doing so well. Oh well, just a phase (that is what I keep telling myself).

Michael and I are doing great. We are planning on trying for another little one next month! It's exciting to think of this next stage in our lives. We are prepared for a long, but exciting, journey ahead of us.