Amazing Graces

I'm Pregnant!

2012-01-07T09:10:00.000-08:00

The first round of Clomid worked! We are expecting our newest addition on August 18th! I am thrilled! On December 6th (9dpo), i was going to see a doctor regarding my high fevers and sore throat. I knew it was probably strep throat and I was going to be put on antibiotics. I decided to test that day because some medications are not safe to take while pregnant. I thought it would be negative because I was not expecting my period for another 3-4 days. I shocked to see a very faint line! I went into work for a rapid strep test and a blood test to confirm the pregnancy. The blood test came back positive (as did the strep test)! I took another test on the 9th (the day my period was supposed to start) and it was definetly positive.

We had an ultrasoubd on 12/22 (5w5d) and they saw a little fetal pole but it was too early to see a heartbeat. I went back on 1/5/2012 (7w5d)for another u/s and we saw our baby with a heartbeat! The heartbeat was 156!

I am 8 weeks along today. Now I have to decide whether we will find out the gender at 20 weeks or wait until delivery.

Where do we go from here?

2011-12-01T18:03:00.000-08:00

I started my first Clomid cycle a few weeks ago. I have some mixed emotions about it. One the one hand, I know I need "tweaking" so it is perfectly acceptable to start treatment. However, part of me feels like I am taking control out of God's hands into my own. Part of me is excited about this next step but my heart hurts that I couldn't do it on my own. It took us 1 year to conceive Caleb but for some reason, I thought this time would be different. I am trying to stay realistic this cycle. I am afraid to get my hopes up and then have my heart stattered days later. I am trying to take it one step at a time. I go in for bloodwork tomorrow to confirm that I ovulated. That is step number 1.

Next step!

2011-08-28T20:39:00.001-07:00

I am now making this blog into a TTC (trying to conceive) blog. So be aware! If you don't want to read about cervical mucous, OPKs and things of that nature then stop now! You have been warned!

We are now in our 3rd month of trying to conceive baby #2. Michael and I have decided that now is the time for the "full court press" (charting and OPKs). If you are interested in following my chart you can either click here:My Ovulation Chart or you can click on my ticker at the top of the page. I am very excited to start this next step. I charted while trying to get pregnant with Caleb and I liked knowing my body and my ovulation cycle. I bought the 20 pack of the "First response" ovulation kits. I never had luck with OPKs before but it was probably because I didn't ovulate until day 28 on some cycles. I hope this time will not be as frustrating as before. I know that I am not as stressed this time around. I know it can take a while and I am not holding hope each cycle. I might be changing my tune in 6 months but for now, I am trying to take it in stride.

Caleb is doing so much better sleeping. We can put him down awake now and he will fall asleep on his own He still like to lay with me during the day when it is time for a nap but I am fine with that.

Two years ago..

2011-07-07T06:24:00.000-07:00

Two years ago yesterday is the day I found out I was pregnant with Caleb. It doesn't seem that long ago. After a year of trying, I am now blessed with an amazing 16 month old. It's amazing!

Michael and I are now trying for baby #2. I am excited but I am also afraid of the process. I am trying to be realistic and preparing myself for a long journey. I remember the feeling of failure each month we didn't conceive and I don't want to go through that again. I am going to try and take it in stride and hope to be surprised :)

I can't sleep

2011-07-06T21:39:00.001-07:00

I have a lot on my mind right now. Today has been a pretty rough day. I was thinking about my ex-best friend today. I miss her right now and I feel like I failed her. We left things on horrible terms and we haven't spoke in about 5 years. I don't know what I did to hurt her so badly but it was enough for her to not come to my wedding and not speak to me. Well, we did speak once about 3 years ago and she said that she wasn't "that mad" anymore but she never called me back to work it out. I felt at peace then. I don't know why I am thinking about her now after all of these years. I realize now that I have never had a good friend since then. I have had acquaintances and friends but not the kind that I call just to chat or when something is bothering me. I know that I am putting up walls because I don't want to get hurt. I have been feeling so alone lately. I am surrounded by a group of wonderful ladies but I can't seem to open up. I feel like when I try to talk, I am trying to hard and it shows. I can't seem to be myself around anyone. I wish I could just open up and be myself and show everyone who I am, but I am so afraid to get hurt.

Sorry for the depressing post. I needed to vent to see if it would help me get some peace.

Near and Far

2011-06-06T21:32:00.000-07:00

Let me start out by introducing my sister's blog. She is currently on a 7 week mission trip to Malawi, Africa. Please pray for her on this amazing journey. http://whatwillafricado.blogspot.com/

I started exercising again. I stepped on the scale the other day and I was shocked. I felt very disappointed in myself but that was short lived. This is just the beginning of something new. I have no set goal but I would love to be 155 by the end of the summer. I know I can do this!!

Caleb has made a habit of waking up at 2:30 in the morning throwing a fit. He throws everything out of the crib and he gets MORE upset because his crib is empty. I try my hardest to ignore this but when he is screaming for about 90 minutes, I can't take the screaming anymore. Ugh. He was doing so well. Oh well, just a phase (that is what I keep telling myself).

Michael and I are doing great. We are planning on trying for another little one next month! It's exciting to think of this next stage in our lives. We are prepared for a long, but exciting, journey ahead of us.

Praise God!

2011-05-24T05:43:00.001-07:00

We finally got confirmation today that Michael will continue to have a job! There was a little while where he was going to be laid off on May 31st but now the weight has been lifted off our shoulders. We are very blessed because he is getting a pay increase and we will be paying less in health insurance also. I am very ready to start paying off our debt. Hopefully, we can get the credit cards paid off by the end of the year.

Caleb is starting to regress back to his old routine. It started last Wednesday when he got sick and he has been getting up at 4:30 since then. At first, I thought his stomach was still bothering him so I gave him some slack. We are now feeling better so hopefully he will sleep better. It is now 5:50 and he is still asleep so I am happy about that.

I have given up on my 4:15am work-outs (shocked anyone?). That is way to early for me to get up. I plan on getting a gym membership so Michael and I can go together. I have lost 3 lbs since doing this Biggest Loser.

Have a great day everyone! God bless.

This is the stuff..

2011-05-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

This song perfectly describes my day yesterday:

"This Is The Stuff" By Francesca Battistelli
I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'Cuz I can't find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines while I'm running behind
Whoa

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world
Oh Oh Oh

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

Oh Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff You use

Caleb is doing so well sleeping! I think I have a theory to why he wakes up early. Michael and I get up early to get ready for work. I think that Caleb hears the TV in the morning and he knows we are up. SO, in the morning, we make sure his door is closed and we have the TV volume on low. It seems to have worked so far.

I think it is time for his first haircut. I had a lady or two tell me how beautiful my daughter is. I have no idea what these ladies see because he was wearing his Nike basketball outfit. I am going to procrastinate this process as long as I can. I know that the day is coming.

He is climbing over everything! We had his pack-in-play still in it's bag and we found him perched on top of it. I am thinking about getting him a chair of his own.

I gained 2 lbs this week. I expected as much. I did not stick to my diet at all over the weekend and was not able to exercise. I know this week will be better, or I hope so.

What a week!

2011-05-09T05:42:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been an interesting week, that is for sure. Michael broke my car on Wednesday. I am, of course, joking that he broke my car but he was the person in the driver's seat when this incident occurred. My car would not shift out of park. Apparently, there is a small plastic piece in the shift column that must have broke off and now i can't park my car. I have to put the car in neutral and set the parking brake to be able to park it. At least I can drive it to work and run my necessary errands.

I got a call on Thursday morning from Michael telling me that we are going to Las Vegas for the weekend. Unfortunately, it was not for a weekend get away. It was for a last minute BBQ competition. A few weeks ago, we had a BBQ competition but we didn't make to cut to move on to the next competition. Well, some teams backed out and we were asked to come. Well, we did horrible. We took last place, which has never happened since we started doing this.

My mother's day is not what I expected it to be. I thought that my day would go like this:
Sleep in a little bit
Go to church
Go out with Michael and Caleb for brunch
Go to Michael's parent's house for a little get together they planned
Spend the rest of the day with my baby

This is how the day went :
Woke up at 6am to get the trailer loaded to leave for home. We find out the truck wouldn't start. After a service guy came out, the truck still wouldn't start. Michael was able to disconnect the alarm system so the truck would start.
9am- Breakfast at Carl's Jr. Yuck
10 am- Finally on the road home.
Spend 8 hours in the car with a screaming toddler. I don't blame him too much. 8 hours in the car with small amounts of time running around will get to anyone. Nothing I brought would keep him calm for long. In hindsight, I should have brought my portable DVD player with a few videos for him but this trip was such a last minute thing that I didn't think about it.
Around 4-5 hours in the trip, I was presented with my Mother's day gift in the car. It was a digital photos frames!! I love it.
2:30- We finally stop for lunch at Jack-in-the-box. I don't know why we didn't stop sooner but I was so glad to be able to get food in Caleb's tummy. Michael and I were so upset that his parent's would not stop earlier.
6pm- Finally home. I cooked dinner and then got ready for bed.

Whew. I know Michael tried his best in the situation but I wished I was home for mother's day.

Today is my first weigh-in. I know that I probably gained weight. I was eating horribly this weekend with no chance to exercise. All I can is move on and hope that his week is better.

Frustrated.

2011-05-03T05:56:00.000-07:00

I have this unrealistic idea that when I started working out that my weight would just melt away. I was almost at my goal weight when I was breast feeding and I did nothing. I ate junk food and I did not work-out. I know that I am only on my second day of this new routine but how did I gain 2 lbs overnight?? I don't know what else to say about it. I usually think of myself as a patient person but why can I just be happy that I am trying to be healthier? Why do I only think of my success as a number? I ran 3 miles today on my elliptical. Why can I not be happy about that achievement? It also did not help that yesterday, my co-worker brought cake and muffins to work. I joined "The Biggest Loser" at my work. I am praying this gives me the motivation I need to keep track on my diet.

Work has been absolutely insane. I didn't get home till 6:30 last night. It seems I am staying later and later each week. I can't complain because I am making more money now and it will help will the bills. I just want to be home with my boy. That's all I want.

Caleb is doing great with his sleeping. He doesn't cry as long or as loud as before. This is going much easier than I would have thought. He is getting more active which is wonderful. However, it is getting to the point where I am thinking of getting a baby-sitter for Tuesday nights while hubby and I are at small group. I feel that we are not able to be fully engaged in the study because Caleb is running around and getting into things. I would like someone to be home with him to give him his bath and put him to bed at a decent time. I can't think of anyone that would do this for me. I don't want to ask my in-laws because they watch him a lot, and most of my friends go to group on Tuesdays. Oh well, something else on my to-do list.

Looking ahead

2011-05-02T06:03:00.000-07:00

I started my work-out today. I got up at 4:30am to start my weight loss journey. This morning I weighed 163.5 lbs. My goal is to weigh 150 lbs. I would love to be 140-145lbs but I don't know if that is realistic or not.
I only planned to do a 30 minute work-out . I ran 2.58 miles in 15 minutes and I did 15 minutes of ab work. This is just the first step. Hopefully I will be able to run 45 minutes without stopping in the near future.
I am looking at doing some classes at the YMCA so if anyone is interested in joining me, I would love a work-out partner. I am thinking about joining The Biggest Loser at work.
Caleb has been sleeping better. He is getting another tooth so he is a bit cranky. I was able to work-out, get ready for work, eat breakfast without being disturbed. It's great.

Here we go again..

2011-04-28T06:02:00.000-07:00

I thought by now I would get this sleeping thing on track. We were doing great, until after he weaned. He wakes up at 5am (usually 4:30ish) and is awake. He would then crash at 8:30. My wonderful friends from small group gave me some encouraging advice. I am so glad I have friends who tell me what I need to hear. I decided to gradually get him used to not getting out of his crib until 6:30am. First stage: He is staying in his room until 5:30am. So, on Tuesday night and I turned off the baby monitor in our room. He woke up at 4am. He cried until 5 and then fell back asleep. He woke up again at 5:30 so I took him into my room so I could sleep a little longer. Well, we slept until 9am.
It is now 6:10am and he has not made a noise yet. I hope he keeps this up. I would like to get up and work out in the morning but I need to get him used to his new schedule first.

We are going camping tomorrow. I am very excited. I love camping and this is Caleb's first overnight camping trip. It's going to be a blast!

Blessings!

2011-04-22T22:31:00.000-07:00

I got a raise at work yesterday!! I was shocked because I thought it was never going to happen. I get paid directly from my boss's paycheck so I never thought he would decide to give up more money. Michael and I have been struggling financially lately but it seems like things are starting to turn around. Michael is getting a new contract and he is getting a raise with that. We started tithing a couple of months ago. I have felt tempted a few times to not tithe the full amount that we are called to do because of the bank account. However, we have been faithful and I feel like God is providing for us. I hope very soon that we can start paying off our credit cards. I would LOVE to have no credit card debt by the end of this year.

My sleep monster

2011-01-24T05:38:00.000-08:00

I seriously believe my sweet little boy is working for the government to do sleep deprivation torture on unsuspecting civilians. This kid will only do short 30 minute cat naps in his crib about twice a day. However if you hold him he will sleep a little bit longer. The past couple of night he has been getting up almost every hour standing up in his crib screaming. It is a little funny at first but the humor quickly goes away at 3 am.

I have tried everything. I am not a fan of the "cry it out" method but I have done Ferber with some success. I blame myself for this little monster I created. Let's be honest, I HATE hearing him cry. The first few nights of doing the Ferber method were torture. I didn't get any sleep which made me question why I was doing it in the first place. The reason why I am doing this is so I can get sleep right? I would always make an excuse why I needed to pick up my boy. I would say, "Well, he is teething so he needs a little extra TLC." or "He is sick". When I mean "sick" i am talking about maybe a stuffy nose.

The Ferber worked ok for a while until one of my excuses came up. Then I would go back to rocking him back to sleep. Don't get me wrong, I love rocking him to sleep. I know that soon he won't want me to hold him. I know that is the reason for his lack of sleep. He likes to be held when its time for bed. I just don't know what to do. I know he needs to learn to soothe himself but its hard when he is standing up in his crib screaming for any period of time. He calms down after i hold him and he will go back to sleep but if I put him down, he screams again.

Michael and I no longer take night shifts because it is impossible for 1 person to take over 1 night and still be able to get up in the morning to go to work. I am probably going to try Ferber again. I know I can't keep going on 2 hours of sleep forever.

9 months

2010-12-08T09:56:00.000-08:00

Yep, Caleb had his 9 month check-up today. He is currently weighing in at 22.1 lbs (75 %tile) and is 29.5 inches tall (75 %tile). The doctor couldn't give me a reason why he was having a hard time sleeping through the night. He said it was ok to try sleep training again now that his cold is almost gone. I hope that it won't take him as long to get it as last time. The doctor did suggest filling his bottle with water and leaving it in the crib for him so he can get a drink in the middle in the night if he is thirsty. We also got the OK for finger foods! Yay!

The though that my little boy will be turning one soon scares me. I now have to start his party planning really soon. I am glad that he is growing up to be a strong, independent little man but, i am sad that he won't be a baby anymore. Turning one is a HUGE milestone and part of me is so excited for the next chapter but then I am upset that he will no longer be a baby. He is growing so fast and I just can't keep up. I just want time to slow down just a little bit so I can enjoy this just a little bit longer.

It's been a while..

2010-11-28T19:22:00.000-08:00

Wow, I am a horrible blogger. Maybe my life is boring.. or I am just too lazy.

Caleb is doing great. I can't believe that he is almost 9 months. He is growing so much right before our eyes. He is at that stage where he wants to crawl, climb and pulling up on everything. It's exciting to see his independence. I'll admit that sometimes I miss the days that he would lay in my arms and sleep. We seem to be running low on sleep the past couple of days.. err... weeks. He is waking up every 45 minutes screaming! I have no idea why. At first I thought he was teething so I gave him Tylenol, then switched to Motrin when that didn't work. He is not sick or anything so I have no idea why he is doing this. My mother- in-law suggested that maybe he is getting too cold at night. So tonight we are going to put a space heater in his room to see if that helps. He is great during the day but nights are horrible. His naps during the day seem to be shorter. Michael and I are both sleep deprived and it's getting to the point where I am useless. Caleb has a doctors appointment next Wednesday so this will definitely be discussed.

Lately our church has been focusing on adoption/foster parenting. It has really tugged on my heart. I find myself in tears during the sermon. I know that this is in our future, but when? I really want to start the process now. I know that sounds crazy but the feeling in my heart is so strong. It is probably because it is what our study is about. Michael wants to wait until we have our next child and when they are both old enough to understand what is going on. Then the questions is, do we adopt or become foster parents? I honestly have no idea. I can see the pros and cons from each side but what does God want?

I have been off of work for almost a week. I do not want to go back. I loved staying at home with Caleb. I go back to the grind tomorrow and I am dreading it.

Have a great night!

One year ago today..

2010-07-06T20:33:00.001-07:00

I got this:
Which lead to this:

Which ended up as this:
I love you my sweet Caleb. Time has flown by to fast. I cherish every moment I have with you.

I need to be held accountable...

2010-05-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

Last night I was able to sit alone and think. It has been a long time since I had some peace and quiet. Do you know what I thought about? Caleb? No. My marriage? No. I thought about my relationship with God. Or should I say lack there of. I used to have such a passion for the Lord. I haven't truly read the Bible in months. I blame time. I know it is a horrible excuse because everyone has the same amount of time that I have and still some find some time to be alone with the Lord. I just rather spend my time with Caleb, watching TV, on the computer, or trying to rest. Through my conviction, I knew that I needed to rekindle my love for the Lord. I know it is still there.

Now came the question, " Where do I start?" Do I start studying Romans? 1 or 2 Corinthians? Ephesians? No. I felt that I needed to start at the beginning. I am going to start in Genesis and end in Revelations.. all in 365 days. Yep, I am going to read the Bible in 1 year. I know it is ambitious and I know it will be hard, but I need to do it. I also plan on keeping an on-line journal of this journey. I hope I can keep up with it.

Have a great week!

First weeks with Caleb

2010-03-28T17:05:00.000-07:00

Wow, I can't believe Caleb is 17 days old! I can't describe how much love I have for this little guy. He has my heart. I can't wait to see him grow up in the man God wants him to be. I hope I am up to the task.

The first week was a challenge. Let me just say, breastfeeding is HARD! I had no idea how difficult it would be. Caleb had a hard time learning to latch on. It would take him about an hour to get a good latch. I had no idea that I had that much patience. He would be fine at the beginning of the feeding, but by the time a latch was established, he would be screaming (as I cried). After about a week of dealing with that, sore nipples, and bits of my nipple being bitten off (yeah, I have pieces missing), i cried at the thought of feeding him. No one told me how hard it was, and I even took a breastfeeding class! I called my mom everyday in tears! I felt like my body failed me. Why could I not feed my child? After talking to my mom and my mother-in-law multiple times about this, I decided to pump. It's not the most ideal thing. It is an inconvenience to pump and feed him but I am so much happier. At least he is still getting my milk. I might try to breastfeed again but I am scared to death.

Other than the breastfeeding issue, everything is going great. I love my little prince. I can't believe how much love I have for him. I can't believe God has blessed us with this little child.

My mom and sister are here visiting. They have been a huge help. I don't know what I am going to do when they leave.

Caleb had his 2 week check a few days ago. He weighs 9 lbs! Wow! He weighed 7 lbs 12 oz at birth. He is getting big. I can't wait till he starts smiling and laughing. I wonder what type of personality he will have. I wonder what he will be when he grows up.

I will end this ramble with a few pictures of our little angel:

Caleb is here!

2010-03-19T09:13:00.000-07:00

On March 11,2010 our little prince Caleb Eugene Robinson was born at 5:31 pm! He weighed 7 lbs 12 oz and was 20.5 inches long.

I will post a birth story later. I just wanted to introduce my little guy.

Full term!

2010-02-26T09:38:00.000-08:00

Woohoo! I can't believe that I am 37 weeks! I am now officially full term! I can't believe that 3 weeks from now my little boy will be here. It is just a surreal feeling!

Hope everyone has a great Friday and a great weekend!

Look how pretty I am!

2010-02-21T13:51:00.001-08:00

Taken today at 36w2d!

Ok, ok. I am not trying to sound conceited but I would like to hear something other than, "Wow, look how BIG you are! You are about to give birth anytime now!" I know that I am huge. Thanks for pointing that out.

Our nursery is a disaster area. Michael's parents are coming over later on today to start working on painting the nursery. I can't wait for it to be finished! I can't believe that Caleb is almost here! He can be here as early as next week if my blood pressure becomes an issue again.

I love being pregnant. Even though I have been having issues since 32 weeks, I wouldn't change it. There is a part of me that can't wait for him to be here so I can go off bed rest, but the other part wants him to stay in as long as possible. I can't wait to hold him in my arms but I know I will miss feeling him move inside me. I can't wait to start this new journey but I am scared out of my mind. I wonder, "Will I be a good mom?" I know I will be, but being responsible for someone else's life is a daunting task.

I am now off to get my hospital bag ready. Fun fun.

Well this day just keeps getting better and better.

2010-02-19T19:25:00.000-08:00

It all started yesterday. I went in for my usual Thursday NST. The nurse took my blood pressure and it was 160/90. That has been my highest but I wasn't too concerned about it. After my NST they re-took my pressure. It was 154/94. Yikes! My Dr. of course did not like those readings so he decided to send me to the hospital to have labs drawn and to do a 24 hr urine. That meant that I would have to stay in the hospital overnight. No problem. He also told me that he wanted another growth u/s to make sure Caleb is not being affected by this. No biggie. I get to see my baby again. He wanted to check my cervix to see if I was dilated just in case I had to be induced. Of course i was 0 cm dilated. I thought as much because I have not had any contractions yet. After the exam he sent me on my merry way to L&D.

I get there and they draw my blood and I start the urine collection. After waiting 2 hours, I was told that my blood work was normal but I still needed to stay to finish the rest of the tests the dr. ordered. I knew that going in so I wasn't concerned.

I get to my room and get settled. I finally start to realize how real this is. I am starting to get a little nervous. Michael was there to help me but I knew that he would have to leave soon to tend to our puppy and to get rest for work the next day. I realize that I will be here alone. That is a scary thing for me.

Michael left and I was in my room alone. I didn't sleep at all. They were waxing the floor outside my room and the smell was nauseating.
The sun rises and I am excited that I get to go home today. I just wanted my ultrasound and leave.
After waiting all day, they finally pick me up at 3 pm for my ultrasound and NST. I get there and they hook me up to a fetal monitor. Everything is looking good. The nurse takes me off the monitor and tells me they are going to take me back to my room. Um, I am suppose to get an ultrasound. I tell the nurse that the doctor wanted a growth ultrasound today. She checks the orders and tells me that the doctor wrote to have the ultrasound done on the 20th (which is tomorrow). She said that the dr. probably wrote the date wrong but they had no one else to do the ultrasound. She set me up for an ultrasound on Monday. I was really upset but it was not her fault. I knew that it was one of those things that I couldn't control. It was a mistake but I was wondering why the nurses did not catch it sooner. They knew the dr. wanted to send me home today!

I get back to my room and wait for the results of my 24 hr urine collection. The nurse comes in and tells me that they are going to keep me another night. When I asked why, she said it was because my urine protein, creatine, were high and they wanted to recheck them tomorrow. What!! I am in shock. I have no symptoms and my blood pressure have been normal the whole time I have been here. I am now scared that I am not leaving this hospital until the baby comes. We will see tomorrow.

Wow, it has been a while.

2010-02-16T10:26:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since I have been on here. I don't know why it has taken me so long to blog. I thought since I was on bed rest, I would be a better blogger. I guess I failed at that attempt. So I guess I am trying to redeem myself.

I am still on bed rest. My doctors said that it will stay that way until I deliver. They still want to induce me between 37-39 weeks. I go to each appointment thinking "Is today the day I get to meet my baby?" It totally depends on each appointment. Everything has been going great so far. My NSTs/AFIs are looking good. My blood pressure was 130/80 yesterday so that is great! I hate laying around though. I feel fine and totally capable of washing dishes or sweeping the floor.

Michael and I had a great Valentine's Day. We don't really celebrate it but we did get each other cards. He made me breakfast in bed. It was wonderful. We went to church then we came home. We laid around all day and watched movies. It was great to just hang out.

That's my update. Michael is planning on painting the nursery this week. We had our last baby shower on Saturday so now we need to get the last minute items.

Hope everyone has a great week!

Bed rest.. Day 2

2010-01-27T13:27:00.000-08:00

So, today is my second full day of modified bed rest. The doctor said that I am allowed to stand up to shower and to be on my feet for a limited amount of time. He told me to be very lazy.

I am still getting used to the idea of bed rest. I feel fine! I feel like I can do the dishes, laundry and clean the house but for me and the baby, I can't. I feel totally useless. I also feel bad for Michael. He told me if he works an extra 16 hours per pay period, it will make up for my lost wages. He works hard enough and now he is doing more. I hate putting extra burden on him. He says that he will take care of all the house cleaning but I feel like I can do those things. I hate just laying here while there is so much to be done before Caleb comes.

I did do some things today. I paid bills and I finally started on my thank-you notes for my baby shower that was in November. I can't believe that it took me this long to start them but I guess its better late then never.

That's about it. I have a breast feeding class today (Dr. gave me the ok to go) and my baby shower is on Saturday! Can't wait!

Have a great week everyone!

Went to L&D last night...

2010-01-26T10:16:00.001-08:00

First thing, Caleb and I are doing fine. I am now on bedrest for an undetermined amount of time.

This kinda all started last Wednesday for my 32 week appointment. My blood pressure was 140/82 so the doctor sent me to the lab to get blood drawn and to do a 24 hour urine collection (to see how much protein I am spilling in my urine. If I have a lot of protein, then it is a sign of pre-eclampsia.) She also wanted me to come in twice a week for NSTs (non-stress test. I am hooked up to a fetal heart monitor to see how Caleb is doing) and a weekly AFI (it is an ultrasound that checks the amount of amniotic fluid around the baby).

So, yesterday ,I went in for my first NST with AFI. My blood pressure was 152/84. I wasn't feeling well at all so I knew it was going to be high. The nurse hooked me up the monitor but she was having difficult keeping his heart rate on the monitor. He kept moving around too much. So, she told me to hold the probe and to move it if he moved. He was still moving around like crazy. About 30 minutes later, the nurse took me off the monitor and had me get of the bed to get ready for my ultrasound.

The doctor came in to look at my NST strip and she was having a hard time reading it. She couldn't tell if his baseline heart rate was 120 and it would accelerate to 150 or if his baseline was 150 and his heart was decreasing to 120. She was worried that he was stressed in there.

She did the ultrasound and he has a lot of amniotic fluid around him (which is good), he is breech (which isn't great but he still has time to turn around). We now know for sure he is a boy because he was flashing his goods at us. She went to look at his diaphragm to see if is was spasming. If it was then that means he is practicing fetal breathing (which is good). She looked for about a minute and she didn't see any spasming of the diaphragm. She called in another doctor (which is my boss) to get a second opinion. He didn't like the strip either so they both agreed to send me to L&D for a further work-up.

I called Michael and Mom and left for L&D. When I got in, they checked me in and took me to get another NST and AFI. I got hooked up to the monitor. I was there for a while and I talked to the perinatalogist. She said that my strip looked excellent and she wanted me to get some blood work done. After we talked for a while she sent me for my ultrasound. The nurse said he looked perfect. She got us some good shots of his face. He was sucking on this thumb the entire time. We could actually see his lips around the thumb and sucking on it. It was amazing. I will try to get the photos uploaded for you. Apparently he has my nose and chubby cheeks. She said everything looked great so she sent me back to L&D.

I went back to L&D and I gave them a urine sample. Once they drew my blood I got hooked up to a fetal monitor. They took about 5-6 blood pressures during my stay and they were all normal. Then the nurse came in with a big needle. She told me that the doctor wants to give me a shot of steroids so Caleb's lungs will mature. My doctors are not going to let me get to my due date so they want to make sure he will be fine when/if I deliver early. So, they gave me a shot in my butt. It hurt a little bit but not too bad. I have to go back tonight for my second shot.

After about 2 hours, my labs came back normal and I was sent home. So, I am now on bed rest until furthur notice. I don't know my bed rest restrictions. I called the office this morning and I am waiting to hear back.

So that is about it. I go back on Thursday for another NST. I hope everything is better than the last

32 week appointment = FAIL

2010-01-20T16:11:00.000-08:00

Let's just say my appointment was anything but routine. Everything was great until the nurse took my blood pressure. My blood pressure has been on the rise lately and now it was 140/70 (the highest it has been). The doctor said that they don't get worried about PIH unless the blood pressure is 140/90 but "to be on the safe side", she wants to draw my blood and do 24 hr urine collection. I don't have any signs of PIH or pre-e except for the high bp. I understand she is being cautious but I am scared out of my mind, which is probably not good for my bp. She says that since this is my first pregnancy and I work in health care, I am the perfect candidate to develop pre-e. Great.

Progression of a pregnant women.

2009-11-06T09:35:00.000-08:00

I guess it's time to put some belly pictures on my blog. It's amazing how much your body changes in a shot period of time!

6 weeks 10 weeks 16 weeks

20 weeks

How far along? 21 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 0 lbs

How big is baby?: About 10.5 inches from head to toe

Maternity clothes? My pre-preg pants are really tight so I have to wear my bella band. I am going to pick up some maternity pants shortly. I can still wear my pre-preg shirts.

Stretch marks? Only on my thighs and hips.

Sleep: Not too good. I can't seem to get comfortable and my back is killing me!

Best moment this week: Finding out I am having a baby BOY!

Food cravings: I don't have huge cravings yet.

Gender: Boy!

Labor Signs: None, and it better stay that way for a long time.

Belly Button in or out? Innie, but it is getting shallower.

What I miss: Drinking a coke or pepsi without feeling a little guilty.

What I am looking forward to: Seeing my family in a few weeks. I hope baby is strong enough so they can feel him move.

Milestones: Feeling him kick, twist, and turn. It takes my breath away!

It's a.....

2009-10-31T09:38:00.000-07:00

BOY!! Michael and I can't be any more excited. We have chosen the name Caleb Eugene Robinson. Here are some more pictures:

His little foot

Getting ready to put his hand in his mouth. Hand in mouth

His profile!

2 year anniversary!

2009-10-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Michael and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary. I can't believe we have been married for 2 years! Its crazy. Last night we went to "The Melting Pot". It was fantastic. It was nice to have a quiet dinner just the two of us. We have been so preoccupied with getting ready to buy the house and baby stuff that we haven't really had time for us. It was a great day to remember the most wonderful day of my life and to remember what an amazing husband I have!

I am soo mad with my realtor!!!

2009-10-07T10:31:00.000-07:00

This may get confusing. We have 2 home offers. The first house I will call the tucson house. The second house will be called the vail house. Ok, here we go...

We put an offer on the tucson house about 6 months ago. It was a short sale so it was taking a while. We found another house so we pulled our offer on it. Well, that house fell through so we decided to put in another offer in on the tucson house. We have been waiting to hear for them since August. Well, last week I noticed the tucson house was not on MLS so we thought the house foreclosed. My father-in-law was on mls looking for houses for us and found the tucson house back on-line. He was wondering why it said Active in the status so he called the realtor selling the tucson house. The realtor said that we pulled our offer on the house. My father-in-law told them that we have not. Ken (the tucson realtor) said he had the papers that said we pulled our offer and the bank is working with someone else on an offer. Michael and I think that our realtor never sent the second offer on the house! I don't know what else it could be!

My father-in-law should not have had to call the other realtor! That is my realtor's job! Why is he not following up on these houses? I am so frustrated. I want to walk away from this but I feel bad because he has been with us since March. It is not my job to find houses on mls, to call the other realtors to find out why it is taking so long. GRRR.

However, our realtor sent Michael an e-mail saying that the vail house might take another 5 weeks to be approved. What?! He told us 5 weeks tops. We are trying to get the $8000 tax credit here. I don't think we will get it. I deserve that money after having 5 houses fall through!

Take my poll!

2009-10-06T17:21:00.000-07:00

I just scheduled my big u/s! On Oct. 30th, we will find out if Baby R is a boy or girl! So, take my poll so I can see what you think!

Day of Highs and Lows

2009-09-30T17:53:00.000-07:00

Today started off really bad. I work for a doctor who does not work on Wednesdays and Fridays. Usually I find something to do on those days. Today I asked my boss what I could do and she said, "I have no more work for you." After we talked for a little bit, it was decided that I would only work the days the doctor is working unless they have something I could do. It sucks that I am now only working part-time but I guess it's good because that will be my work schedule after the baby is born so Michael can I can get used to our finances this way. We still haven't heard about the house so hopefully that will change soon!

The best part of the day was my OB appointment. The doctor could not find the heart beat with the doppler. She tried to for about 5 minutes with no luck. I was so scared! She found the heart beat last time, so why not this time!? She had to bring in the ultrasound machine to make sure everything was ok. As soon as she started, we saw our Little One squirming around with a heart beat going 150 strong. We saw our baby waving at us (our baby has fingers!!) and we saw him/her moving it's mouth!! It was so surreal! I am so glad everything is ok. I asked her if she could determine the sex but she couldn't tell. We will have our big ultrasound in 4 weeks so hopefully we will find the sex then! I can't stop smiling!

Oh No!!

2009-09-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

This morning my car made a noise... a really big noise. Now, I am not a car person so if I could hear a noise coming from my car then it must be bad. I can't really describe what it sounded like but it was like when you start your car when your foot is accidentally on the gas. I didn't think much of it till it happened when I started my car again to go home from work. My loving husband looked at the car for me and he is not happy. He said that he has to take apart the engine to figure out what's going on. He then told me that it is not a good idea for me to drive the car until it's fixed. Which means my wonderful in-laws will have to drive me to work and my husband will pick me up from work. I feel like I am in high school again. Ugh.. what am I to do??

Ah, morning sickness

2009-08-20T18:07:00.000-07:00

So, I thought I was going through this pregnancy pretty well. I was having no morning sickness, frequent urination and all those pregnancy symptoms. Well, I now I am officially in the morning sickness club. This week has been rough but today was bad. I was driving to work and I was at a stop light. Then i got the sudden urge to gag. So, i opened the car door, while waiting for the light to change, and I puked on the side of the road. Fun. I probably scared the people behind me but I least I didn't get sick inside the car. I hope I never have to do that again.

Introducing...

2009-08-05T18:42:00.000-07:00

Baby Rolo!! My sisters came up with that name! Its a combo of my last name and my maiden name. We had our first ultrasound and it was amazing! Baby Rolo is measuring at 7w5d with an EDD of 3/19/10! The doctor said s/he little heart was beating at 150 bpm! It seems soo real now!

Presents!!

2009-07-07T18:01:00.000-07:00

I came home and found a little gift from my in-laws:

They got us these adorable onesies! They tried to find some unisex ones but these look more boy-ish. These are so adorable and they have cute little dogs on them.

My first prenatal appointment is on Aug. 5th! I am a little nervous about the ultrasound but I can't wait to see the baby! I have had not many symptoms but I am still very early. Thats all so far!

We're Pregnant!!

2009-07-06T21:14:00.000-07:00

Michael and I are in complete shock! This was the last month before I was going to start Clomid. I can't believe God blessed us! I took the FRER this morning and got a line! We still couldn't believe it so after work we got the digital and "Pregnant" popped up in no time! We told our parents and sisters and they couldn't be more excited. Unfortuantly I could only tell my parents over the phone but their reaction was priceless. I don't know exactly when I am due because my cycles are so irregular but I am due in March 2010! I can't wait to call my OBGYN to schedule an appointment! AHHH

2009-07-06T21:05:00.001-07:00

first night

2009-05-04T06:43:00.000-07:00

The first night with Clint was interesting. We cleaned out our room and bathroom so he wouldn't chew on anything while we were asleep. We made a bed for him in the bathroom. When it was time to go to bed, we lead him into our room. He didn't want to go in at first. It took a treat and a little bit of coaxing before he came in. Now it was time for him to get cozy in the bathroom. He did not want to go in! I got a treat and I sat on his bed and called him over. He didn't move. Instead he ran to the other side of the bedroom, curled up in the corner and started shaking. We then decided to put his bed in our room. He laid there all night! He didn't get up or anything. He whined once or twice but that was it. This morning, after Michael got up and got ready for work, he took Clint outside to pee. When he came back in, he gave me quite a welcome. He ran over to my side of the bed, started licking uncontrollably at me and then climbed on the bed and he made himself cozy next to me. It was cute but it worries me. When Michael left, he was whining a lot more. I am afraid what he will do when I leave in a few minutes. At least my mother-in-law is here to make sure he is ok. He is very quiet and submissive. He doesn't do anything until you do it first. I hope he starts to get more confident and come out of his shell a little bit.

our new addition

2009-05-03T19:10:00.000-07:00

Yes! We bought a dog today. We went to Petco just to look at them but we ended up buying one! His name is Clint and he is a German Shepherd/ Rottweiler mixed. He is about a year old. He is such a sweetheart. He thinks he is a lap dog so while he is giving you kisses, he is trying to climb up on you. He has a brother who is a dominant one so he is very submissive. He is great with other dogs. We brought him to my in-laws and they have a cocker spaniel. She does not like other dogs. After getting to know each other, she was fine and he acted like nothing was going on. He is crate trained and house broken and he knows simple commands. He is scared to death of stairs. He is such a great dog!! I can't believe we got one. We should hear something about our house in the next few days so hopefully we will be in our new home by the end of the month!

Doctor appointment

2009-04-16T17:38:00.000-07:00

I saw my OBGYN today for my yearly exam, and it was very interesting. As most of you know, Michael and I have been trying to conceive for about 6-7 months now. I went to my doctor expecting him to throw my charts away or to tell me to wait a few more months before getting tests done. This was totally unexpected. My doctor was very happy to see that I was charting. He kept rambling how great it was because it was computerized and you can email it to people. I asked him about this month's chart because I am on CD36 and I have no sign of pregnancy or my period. My cycles keep getting longer and longer. My chart said that I ovulated on March 30th. He looked at me and said that it doesn't look like I have been ovulating. He said out of all the charts I gave him, only one or two showed that I might have ovulated. He wants to run some blood work! He wants to check my TSH, FSH, Prolactin and progesterone. He said that he will probably put me on Clomid but he wants to wait until my test results to come back. He also wants Michael to take a semen analysis but that is up to him. I am so happy my doctor is so proactive! He said why wait a year while I am young, healthy and my charts are showing that something might be wrong with my ovulation. I have to wait until day 21.22.23 of my next cycle to get my blood work done. Now I have to wait until my period to come.

We put an offer on a house! Its a beautiful 3 bedroom, 2 bath home built in 2006. It is on one acre of land. It was bought at $250,000. They are only asking $170,000!! This home is a short sale so everything has to go through the bank before a final decision can be made. The seller has accepted our bid but we have to wait till the bank gives us a written acceptance before we can continue the process.

That is life so far~

long-time no blog

2009-04-01T18:59:00.000-07:00

Finally! I am able to sit down and update my 5 followers on my life. It has been crazy the past couple of weeks so this might be kinda long. Here we go!
My great uncle Jim passed away last night. He was really sick but it still doesn't make it easier. Just keep my family in your thoughts and prayers.

Work is going well. I really enjoy the people that I work with. The work itself is ok. It is very tedious so it kinda gets to you.

Yesterday we met with a mortgage broker and we got approved for an FHA loan! We are so excited. However, the 14 acre land we wanted, we can't get. FHA will only cover land that is 5 acres or less. FHA also restricts the well water rights to 4 people, as this property has 6 people per well. The mortgage broker said we could get a rural loan but we make too much money. She said we could get the loan if we had kids. She even asked me if I had "a bun in the oven". I was almost tempted to say "yes". What are they going to do? Request an ultrasound or something? So, we are now trying to find the perfect house.

I am now officially making this a trying to conceive (TTC) blog as well. Michael and I have been trying for 6 months. We are now on our 7th cycle. It has been frustrating. I never thought it would take this long but it has been a learning experience. Last month, I had a 34 day cycle. The month before was 26. I decided to start charting again because I had no idea when I ovulated. I hope cycle 7 is our lucky one!

This journey to start our family really has helped my grow in my relationship with God. I have been trying to learn patience and to trust God's timing. I have been praying a lot more and I finally found time to be alone with God. I get to work early and I do my devotional in the car. Its only 15 minutes but it is amazing. I am actually beginning to realize that this whole process is out of my control. It is only in God's timing that my family will start. It is a hard pill to swallow but I am finally starting to learn that I can't control this. It will happen when it is suppose to happen.

First day

2009-03-12T20:51:00.000-07:00

The first day at my new job went well. All I did watch another guy do the work as I observed. The job seems easy but tedious. My job is to try to read the Dr.'s handwriting and put in the computer the patients' diagnosis, medication, medical history and things like that. My boss is super nice and it is a very laid back environment. Everyone is so nice and I enjoy the atmosphere. I am enjoying it and I can't wait to start on my own.

I also wrote my resignation to my previous temp agency. It was a hard one to write because I only worked 2 shifts and I wasn't sure what to write. I will be surprised if I do not get a call about it tomorrow but I will be at work and unable to answer it. hehe.

New job!

2009-03-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

After a lot of prayer and frustration, I had a job interview today and got the job! This one I am very excited about. I will be doing Data Entry for a medical facility. I will have to wear scrubs because some people don't understand "buisness casual". I will be working 8-4 Monday-Friday. I am so happy and it hope it works out. I start tomorrow!

I hate work

2009-03-03T09:49:00.000-08:00

I don't know what I was thinking when I accepted to work for this company. I guess it was my desperation to get something. I have been employed at this company for about 2-3 weeks and I have only worked once!! This morning they called me at 8:30 this morning asking if I was available to work. I ran up and got a pen and paper to write down where I will be going and they said, "OK, we will call you if anybody needs you." What?!?! I guess that is the straw that broke the camel's back. I was under the impression when I was hired that I would be working 40 hrs a week. That is not happening. I don't know when I will work next and I feel like I can have a life or help out my family because I don't know when I will get called in.Michael and I have found a house and we are waiting to see how much I will make. I feel like I am holding us back from getting our house. I am going to look for another job now. I need to know when I am working and have some security with that. If anyone has any advice for me, please let me know. Thanks

Frustration

2009-02-25T14:45:00.000-08:00

I hate dealing with people over the phone. I am trying to get my new job started without having my old work not cooperating with me. Here is my story:

My new work needs my last TB test results or get tested again. I called my old work on Monday to get them to fax my last TB test results. They said I need to make the request in writing. So I wrote a letter and faxed it to them. No problem. Well, this morning, I got a call from my new employer asking me if I had my TB test done yet. I told them that my old employer was suppose to fax them my results a few days ago. I called my old work to see if they got the fax and she said, "yeah, I got it. State law says I can take up to 15 days to process your request so I might have it to them on Friday." What??!?! It is a small hospital so I don't understand why she will take a week to process my paperwork that will take her 20 minutes to do it? So I am a little frustrated. More waiting I guess.

Dedication to my Husband

2009-02-23T08:28:00.000-08:00

~What is his name:

Michael Ted Robinson

~How long have you been married:

About a year and 4 months

~How long did you date

We got married on our 4 year anniversary. Yeah, it was a long courtship.

~Who eats more sweets:

It depends on who you ask. He says that I do but I beg to differ. He is the one that buys me the sweets and so I have to eat them don't I??

~Whose parents do you see most:

We see Michael's parents the most because we live with them now (that will soon be changing), and we just moved to AZ where his whole family lives. My family lives in FL and we don't see them as often as we like but I think we are going on vacation with them this summer.

~Who said I love you first:

Michael did. We were dating for about 6 months when he told me.

~Who is taller:

Michael is taller but not by much.Yeah, our kids will be short...

~Who is smarter:

It depends. If you are talking about school and "book smart", than it is me. I love school and reading. But if you are talking about anything that has an engine, its definetly Michael as I will be wearing the dunce cap of that conversation.

~Who does the laundry:

We both do it, kinda.. I will do the "main laundry" as it is all the clothes but Michael will wash his uniforms.

~Who does the dishes?

I seriously Michael has a phobia of washing dishes. My pet peeve is leaving dirty dishes around for days at a time. I have to have them washes in a timely manner. However, when I went to school full-time and worked nights full-time, I had to trust that he would do the dishes. I think he only did them twice but that was with my begging and pleading. I just learned that it will be forever my duty to be a dishwasher.

~Who pays the bills?

We both bring in the money but he makes more than I do. He pays the bills but I keep track when they are due.

~His guilty pleasure:

Cars, airplanes and anything that goes vroom vroom. Seriously, we will be in the car, having a serious conversation, then all of a sudden, while I am in mid- sentence I will see his head turn then say, " Wow! look at that car!!" Its hilarious

~Who sleep on the right side of the bed:

He does, but I don't think it matters. He says that he wants to sleep on the side of the bed that is closest to the door so if an axe-murderer comes to in while we are sleeping, he will be able to defend me against the murderer. My response is, "Yeah, he will kill you first then I am left to defend myself, thanks :)"

~Who has more friends:

Right now, probably Michael. We live in his hometown so he knows a lot of people. I just started work and haven't made a lot of friends yet.

~Who cooks dinner:

We both do. I never really learned to cook so I am learning as I go. Michael is a great cook and he is teaching me a lot. We are doing a BBQ competition in Mesa soon with his family. That should be fun.

~Who is more stubborn:

I would call Michael stubborn but sometimes yes, he can be stubborn. Me? I am not stubborn at all and you are not going to convince me otherwise.

~Who kissed who first:

Michael kissed me first. It was a few months after he told me that he loved me. We were on our way back from looking at Christmas lights and that is when he kissed me! It was so sweet and it was my first kiss ever. It would have been awesome if there was snow falling but we were in AZ!! You can't expect snow!

~Who asked who out first:

Michael did. Michael and Andy invited me to go to a concert with them. I said yes and told my parents that we were going to a concert in a few weeks. My dad was like, "So is it a date? I think so!!" I told him no, its not a date, but I didn't know for sure. A few days later I saw Michael at church and I asked him if this concert is a date or not. He said no, its not. However, a few days later he asked me out and the rest is history!

~Who proposed:

Michael did! It was so sweet and romantic. At this point I was living in North Carolina while he was living in Arizona. I flew down for our 3 year anniversary. He took me to the cornmaze on Friday the 13th. Later on, we got totally lost (he later said that it was on purpose but I don't believe that). At one of the cross paths, michael stopped (so I stopped). He said that he was lost (me: yeah, ya think!!). Then he said that he was lost without me. Then he said, "In the fall, things change and I think it is time for our relationship to change." Then he got down on one knee and handed me a pumpkin. Inside the pumpkin was the ring ( he carved out the gooey stuff in the middle and but the foam inside). I started crying and said yes!!

~Who has more siblings:

Me. I am the 2nd oldest of 4 and Michael is the youngest of 2.

~What is your favorite thing about him:

Oh wow. There is so much. He knows how to make me laugh. His personality is very child-like (its a good thing). He doesn't take life to seriously and he makes me realize that.

got a job!

2009-02-19T13:56:00.000-08:00

I am so excited!! I will be working for a contract agency that places health care workers in various health care facilities. As of now, since I do not yet have my AZ certification, I will be starting out as a sitter for $10/ hour. When my CNA license comes in, I will be making $12.50/hour. I will be working full-time on days and week-days. They said that I can set my own schedule. I am so happy that I found work! yay!

Finally!!

2009-02-18T12:30:00.000-08:00

I got a job interview tomorrow. I will be meeting someone at an agency that places health care workers in hospitals, Dr. offices, nursing homes and stuff. I can work under contract and be a travel CNA or be placed permanently somewhere. I am not certified in AZ yet but they said that was ok and I can come in and fill out paper work so to me it sounds like I have a job. I called the board of nursing and asked how long I can expect to wait for my certification paperwork to go through and they said 150 days!! Wow, thetas a long time. She said that was if I had no pending investigations and if my finger prints are negative for any records. I know that it won't be an issue but I hope it does not take that long.

Michael and I are doing some more house shopping. We found a few places that we liked. Now that it looks like I have a job we can get into something quicker. I can't wait till we find something!

Snow!!

2009-02-10T19:14:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it! It snowed here, in Tucson, AZ! It was short lived as it was all melted by 10 am but it was awesome!

I am still waiting to hear about a job. I have posted my resume on-line and applied to so many places. I know that I have done everything I can, so now I wait for God to open some doors. This has been an experience. I have learned through this process that everything is in God's timing. I can only do so much. I am finally feeling some contentment with what is going on.

We found a few houses that we like. I can't wait till we can get enough money for a downpayment. I am praying for a big tax return but I don't think that is going to happen, but I can hope right?

I need to start working out. I feel so out of shape, but I always say that when I am watching "Biggest Loser"

sigh

2009-01-21T11:17:00.000-08:00

The days seem so long now. It is so ironic. A few months ago, I would kill to have a few quiet moments to myself. Now, I can't seem to find anything to fill the time. I need to print off some photos to start my scrapbook but I can't seem to find the motivation. I am trying to find a job now but I fear it is going to take a while. I want to be in a house now, I want to start my family but everything seems to be at a standstill. I know we have to wait until we have enough money to have a down payment for a house but I guess I don't want to wait. It is so frustrating.

I found out two dear friends of mine are getting a divorce. It has been really hard on me but I can't imagine what they must be going through. Michael and I are so close to them and they helped us along through our relationship. I found myself thinking earlier, "If it can happen to them, could it happen to me?" Michael and I decided to start up our couples' devotional again. I am really excited about that. '

Probably the best part of this week is finally making a career choice. I have been struggling with becoming a nurse. I have always thought of myself becoming a part of the medical profession that I never thought of other career choices. While working in the ER, I realized that this is something that I don't want to do for the rest of my life. I did a lot of praying and realized a path that I would love and can eventually use overseas when Michael and I step into the mission field. I have decided to become an elementary school teacher! It has always been something I wanted to do but I never thought much about it. I am very excited and I can't wait to start it. I have to wait until I become an AZ resident but its ok. Now I need to find someone who wants to but my A&P book!

All by myself

2008-11-16T19:27:00.001-08:00

Well, yesterday was a start in a new chapter in my life. Michael and I decided a long time ago that we would be moving to Tucson, AZ. Well, yesterday, he left to start the moving process. He left but I am staying here in NC until my semester ends. I will be here all alone until Dec. 22. It has been rough and it has only been a few days! He already has a job and we are currently looking at houses. I am so excited but a little nervous. I really hope that this is what God wants for us. I am ready to settle down and finally call a place "home". Hopefully, once we settle down, we will be able to start a family and enjoy our lives together instead of thinking what or when our next move will be. This is gonna be some journey!!

First Blog!

2008-10-27T12:46:00.000-07:00

I have finally decided to start a blog! This is all new! I want to start journaling what is going on with this busy year. I hope to finish nursing school and to start a family by the end of next year. I know that it is ambitious but I love a challenge.

Last weekend, Michael and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary! Wow, I can't believe that we have been married that long! Time has gone by so fast. We moved into a nice apartment and we are both working full time. I am trying to go to school full-time to get into nursing school. Its been a challenge working full time and going to school full time but we are making it work!

This year has been full of surprises but thats life!